THANKFUL

I did not want to blog about this, but since I have so many distant relatives and friends wondering about it, and I emotionally can't talk to everyone about it, I thought it best to just do it all at once on here. Even sitting down to write this blog is one of the hardest things to do.

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This past Wednesday evening Ava and I were in the Suburban on the way to church. Jamie was following behind me in our work van that we were going to drop off after services. Our church is in Austin about 30 miles from our house in Bastrop, and we take a small highway to get there. There are two lanes in one direction and two going the other with a grassy median in the middle. There are several small country roads intersecting the highway and you have to cut across the two lanes to make it to the median to get on the highway to go the other direction.

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I am sure you can see where I am going with this. Ava and I were going 65 MPH when someone tried to cross over the highway at the very last second and we were in a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE accident. It all happened in slow motion and there was nothing I could do to avoid her. I did everything I could in those few short moments, but unfortunately, I T-boned her directly in the drivers side door. She was in a small sports like- older two door car.

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I slammed into her throwing her car off to the side and luckily was able to stop in the grassy median before heading into incoming traffic. I remember every detail of the accident very vividly. I will forever remember the screams from Ava in the backseat after the impact. I am sure I will never hear that particular scream again either-except for in my head. Of course the airbags deployed hitting me in the chest and stomach. I stumbled out of the car and just went to lay down hoping that my little twins were ok, and that I wouldn't go into early labor. By the time I stumbled to the back of my car Jamie already had Ava out of the car and was telling me she was ok.

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I could not believe what had just happened to me. I couldn't believe that I was alive at all. It was someones worst nightmare coming true. I layed there in the grass just praying for the other driver. I could feel my arms burning- burns from the airbag-and my legs hurting-but I knew for sure nothing was broken. Ava only cried for a short while after being out of the car, and I knew in my heart she was fine as well. I just kept praying for the other driver. Since everything happened in slow motion I knew I had hit a woman, but that it was bad.

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I was taken to a nearby ER via ambulance. All of which was something I never want to experience again. Too many needles and IV's all at once...so much chaos. They immediately did a sono and both of the babies were perfectly fine. What an enormous blessing from God. How was that even possible after what I had just been through???

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Eventually Jamie was able to get back to see me while they were still running tests in the ER. He told me Ava was doing great. Running around like nothing had happened, and just had seatbelt marks on around her neck and chest. Praise the Lord again. He also told me that the driver had died...probably on impact. Wow. I still don't think it has fully sunk in. Even though it was 100% not my fault, I was in an accident where someone died. I have some bruises and neck and back pain, my daughter has some small marks, and the other person passed away. I can't even wrap my mind around how truly truly truly blessed we were and still are.

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There was also a passenger in the car that is in a coma. I heard her hysterically screaming the whole time in the background after the accident, but had no idea she was the passenger and never saw her. Not sure how she came to be in a coma after that. When I layed down in the grass I subconsciously layed down with my back to her car. I am glad that happened. Not sure I could handle remembering the images that were going on just mere feet from me.

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We later found out that the woman driving was around my age, had no drivers license, was driving a car that was not hers, and was in possession of cocaine. They are doing an autopsy to see if there were any drugs in her system. I pray though that this is not the case. This is just information that was given to me by the DPS.

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So, today I am THANKFUL to be alive. I am thankful that my precious little girl is alive. That the two babies growing inside of me are still alive. I am thankful to have walked away from such a horrible accident with only a few bruises and pains. I still can't believe that. I am thankful to have been driving a huge Suburban. If I had been driving anything smaller everything could have been different. I will never drive a small car/van again. EVER!! I am thankful that I had both hands on the wheel and I wasn't on the phone, messing with the radio, handing Ava a toy, getting a drink of water...any number of things. I was in a position to do everything I could do right at that exact moment. God was most definitely watching over us that night...in so many ways.

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Now I just have to get through dealing with the daily emotions of reliving the wreck. I also feel so horrible for Jamie. I can't imagine what it must have been like for him watching his pregnant wife and baby girl get into such a horrible accident. Not sure if when he reached us if we were even going to be alive. I just can't even imagine.

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I would like to ask for prayers for the other woman that is now in a coma. I pray that she survives the coma and whatever other injuries she sustained. Please please say a prayer for that other woman...that if she isn't a Christian, she will become one after this accident.

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Thank you to all of the friends and family for your continued prayers, calls, and kind words. I know that those prayers truly have helped, and will continue to help me through this very very difficult time. I could not get through it without you all.

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Never take any moment or day for granted. Do not live life for tomorrow but for today-you never know when something unexpected can change your life forever. Tell everyone in your life how much you love them and how much they mean to you, and NEVER pass up an opportunity to tell someone about Christ. It very well could be their last day as well.

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I love you all, and thank you once again for helping me through this.

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Love, Lauren

My New Friend

Jamie has been wanting to take Ava back to Build a Bear for a long time to get her a new "baby." You would think I would be the one to be begging to take her there, but no, it is my cute husband. Last time she got a bunny. This time she got a snuggly lamb.

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Picking out the heart.

She was NOT sure about this lady, and was really scared of the stuffing machine. She has become really scared of noises lately.

Jamie had to help her put in the heart, because she didn't want to get close to the lady. :)


"Washing" her new baby.

Carrying the box herself! Hehe.

After she took the lamb out of the box she tried to trade it for a cookie these ladies behind her were eating. Just like her momma....loves her some Great American Cookie!

Excited to have her new baby.

We just have to pick a name. She snuggles with the both now at night in her bed. So cute!!

My First Ponytail

I can't believe Ava's hair is long enough for a real ponytail! My little girl is growing up so fast! It makes her look SO much older! These were the best pics I could get. She is hard to keep still for pics sometimes. (Ava says please excuse her pj's). ;)

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Drum Roll Please....

Last week we found out for sure what we are having. I say this because two weeks prior to that my doc told me he was 100% sure of one and 95% sure of the other. I told family and close friends, bought bedding, even narrowed my list of names. Come to find out 95% sure just wasn't good enough. He was wrong! He said, "Well, I did give myself 5% wiggle room".

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We were shocked to find out there had been a change. The best surprise in the world!!! I actually hit the doctor on the arm and started laughing and crying when he told us the news. I couldn't stop for hours afterwards! We are totally excited about the change in plans! Now he says he is 100% of both. So without further ado....

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As you can guess, we were first told we were having two girls. I was a little bit disappointed when he told us the second was a girl, because I thought for sure it was a boy. You see, before I even had my first positive pregnancy test I had a dream that I was pregnant with twins...one was a boy and one was a girl. So, I was sure that was what I was going to have all along. Turns out my premonition was right. SO crazy the dreams pregnant women have!!

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(Sorry it took me so long to post, but I have had a really bad head cold that moved to my chest, in addition to taking care of Ava, the blog didn't get much attention.)

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Now I am back to the drawing board picking out names and trying to figure out the best way to decorate a nursery for a boy and a girl! The name part is actually more of a challenge. (I have a very hard to please husband!!)

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The babies are already becoming very active. I feel the boy more often than the girl. Don't know if it is because he is more active or stronger. I have a feeling this is just a sign of things to come. I can also sometimes feel them with my hands. Already! I think because it is already so squished in there that they are getting pushed out against my stomach more. Totally crazy!! I still can't believe I have TWO babies growing inside of me!

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They are both growing right on track...measuring the exact same. I will go back in two weeks for another sono. I pray things keep going so well with the babies growth and development. (And that we don't have any more changes!)

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Can't wait to share the names and nursery once they are decided!

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MUCH LOVE TO ALL!!!!

Happy Mothers Day

What a wonderful Mothers Day it was this year. My last one with just us two girls. It was a very relaxing day. Church, lunch, an extra long nap courtesy of my husband, church again, then dinner cooked by my husband. If only it was like this every day! :)

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I can't believe that next year I will have two more little ones surrounding me!!

I love Ava's face...I am thinking she is shocked by the belly. Hehe

She was in such a good mood taking these pictures...I love this one!!

Kissing her babies. She gives one kiss for each side of the belly and then one big hug every time!!

18 WK belly shot. This thing is gonna get HUGE!!