Saturday, May 30, 2009

THANKFUL

I did not want to blog about this, but since I have so many distant relatives and friends wondering about it, and I emotionally can't talk to everyone about it, I thought it best to just do it all at once on here. Even sitting down to write this blog is one of the hardest things to do.
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This past Wednesday evening Ava and I were in the Suburban on the way to church. Jamie was following behind me in our work van that we were going to drop off after services. Our church is in Austin about 30 miles from our house in Bastrop, and we take a small highway to get there. There are two lanes in one direction and two going the other with a grassy median in the middle. There are several small country roads intersecting the highway and you have to cut across the two lanes to make it to the median to get on the highway to go the other direction.
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I am sure you can see where I am going with this. Ava and I were going 65 MPH when someone tried to cross over the highway at the very last second and we were in a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE accident. It all happened in slow motion and there was nothing I could do to avoid her. I did everything I could in those few short moments, but unfortunately, I T-boned her directly in the drivers side door. She was in a small sports like- older two door car.
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I slammed into her throwing her car off to the side and luckily was able to stop in the grassy median before heading into incoming traffic. I remember every detail of the accident very vividly. I will forever remember the screams from Ava in the backseat after the impact. I am sure I will never hear that particular scream again either-except for in my head. Of course the airbags deployed hitting me in the chest and stomach. I stumbled out of the car and just went to lay down hoping that my little twins were ok, and that I wouldn't go into early labor. By the time I stumbled to the back of my car Jamie already had Ava out of the car and was telling me she was ok.
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I could not believe what had just happened to me. I couldn't believe that I was alive at all. It was someones worst nightmare coming true. I layed there in the grass just praying for the other driver. I could feel my arms burning- burns from the airbag-and my legs hurting-but I knew for sure nothing was broken. Ava only cried for a short while after being out of the car, and I knew in my heart she was fine as well. I just kept praying for the other driver. Since everything happened in slow motion I knew I had hit a woman, but that it was bad.
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I was taken to a nearby ER via ambulance. All of which was something I never want to experience again. Too many needles and IV's all at once...so much chaos. They immediately did a sono and both of the babies were perfectly fine. What an enormous blessing from God. How was that even possible after what I had just been through???
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Eventually Jamie was able to get back to see me while they were still running tests in the ER. He told me Ava was doing great. Running around like nothing had happened, and just had seatbelt marks on around her neck and chest. Praise the Lord again. He also told me that the driver had died...probably on impact. Wow. I still don't think it has fully sunk in. Even though it was 100% not my fault, I was in an accident where someone died. I have some bruises and neck and back pain, my daughter has some small marks, and the other person passed away. I can't even wrap my mind around how truly truly truly blessed we were and still are.
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There was also a passenger in the car that is in a coma. I heard her hysterically screaming the whole time in the background after the accident, but had no idea she was the passenger and never saw her. Not sure how she came to be in a coma after that. When I layed down in the grass I subconsciously layed down with my back to her car. I am glad that happened. Not sure I could handle remembering the images that were going on just mere feet from me.
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We later found out that the woman driving was around my age, had no drivers license, was driving a car that was not hers, and was in possession of cocaine. They are doing an autopsy to see if there were any drugs in her system. I pray though that this is not the case. This is just information that was given to me by the DPS.
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So, today I am THANKFUL to be alive. I am thankful that my precious little girl is alive. That the two babies growing inside of me are still alive. I am thankful to have walked away from such a horrible accident with only a few bruises and pains. I still can't believe that. I am thankful to have been driving a huge Suburban. If I had been driving anything smaller everything could have been different. I will never drive a small car/van again. EVER!! I am thankful that I had both hands on the wheel and I wasn't on the phone, messing with the radio, handing Ava a toy, getting a drink of water...any number of things. I was in a position to do everything I could do right at that exact moment. God was most definitely watching over us that night...in so many ways.
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Now I just have to get through dealing with the daily emotions of reliving the wreck. I also feel so horrible for Jamie. I can't imagine what it must have been like for him watching his pregnant wife and baby girl get into such a horrible accident. Not sure if when he reached us if we were even going to be alive. I just can't even imagine.
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I would like to ask for prayers for the other woman that is now in a coma. I pray that she survives the coma and whatever other injuries she sustained. Please please say a prayer for that other woman...that if she isn't a Christian, she will become one after this accident.
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Thank you to all of the friends and family for your continued prayers, calls, and kind words. I know that those prayers truly have helped, and will continue to help me through this very very difficult time. I could not get through it without you all.
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Never take any moment or day for granted. Do not live life for tomorrow but for today-you never know when something unexpected can change your life forever. Tell everyone in your life how much you love them and how much they mean to you, and NEVER pass up an opportunity to tell someone about Christ. It very well could be their last day as well.
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I love you all, and thank you once again for helping me through this.
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Love, Lauren

11 comments:

robineilene said...

Lauren,

I am Karen Gaskill's sister, and have followed your blog for a while because Ava is so darn cute! (My husband Casey and your sister are also good friends!) I love reading about you and your cute family, and am so thrilled for you guys with your upcoming twins!

I seriously just stopped and thanked God that you and Ava are okay. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, but I know that will never take the awful memory away. You definitely had angels protecting you that day, and I'm so glad that you are able to thank God and give him the glory in the midst of all that happened.

You guys will be in our prayers!

Brittany said...

I sit reading your blog crying for all that you are going through. What an awful ordeal and I can't imagine your emotions now. PRAISE GOD you and Ava and the twins are still here. I'll be praying for you all!

Nicole said...

Dear Lauren,

I saw your blog link on Michelle's a while and Heather told me you were having twins. So I have popped in every once in a while to see how you were doing. You have a beautiful family.

When I read this entry, with tears rolling down my face, it took me a while to put together words to say. I am so sorry you went through such an awful ordeal. God has wonderful things planned for you and your family. I thank him that all of you are safe. Ava and the twins sure do have a brave mommy!

Congrats again on your lovely family and you will continue to stay in my prayers.

Love,

Nicole Moore

Crystal said...

Lauren,

I cannot even find the words to say right now. I am so thankful you and the kids are okay. I love you guys! I will talk to you soon!

Crystal

Jen said...

Lauren,
Addy and I follow your blog. When I read this I had tears in my eyes. I am so glad to hear that you, Ava, and your unborn twins are doing o.k. I will pray for your heart and mind to process and work through the images that you experienced that dreadful day.
Jennifer (Sanders) de Wolfe

Anonymous said...

Lauren..

Wow. All I can say is thank you Jesus. I cannot imagine how terrible all of that was. I am still crying. YOu are so right, we shouldn't take any day for granted. Thank you for reminding us of that.

I am so glad that the little babies, the big baby, and my friend are ok. I know that the next few weeks will be tough, trying to get through the emotion of it, but I am grateful you have God right there to help you.

Let me know if you need anything. I am so glad you are ok. I Love you, Tanna

Lyndsey Newton said...

Lauren,
I doubt you remember me, I went to South with you-and moved our Senior year...I found your blog off of Tanna's and think your baby girl is precious.

I am SO sorry that you are going through this-I cannot imagine what you are going through, please know that I am praying for you and your family-I am so thankful that angels were watching over ya'll that evening-bless your heart...Praise God that you and your babies are safe...please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tara said...

Lauren, Thank you for openly sharing that sobering life-lesson, and incredible testimony of God's protection. So thankful that you & babes are OK. Take care of yourself, friend.

Davis Family said...

Hi Lauren,

You don't know me, but wanted to tell you that I've been praying for you for the past week. My name is Sharon and almost two years ago my husband and I adopted the son of the woman who was killed in the accident. I praise the Lord that you and your daughter were not seriously hurt and that your twins were unharmed as well. And I'm sorry for what you've been through and are still going through emotionally.

A little over two years ago, Olana did become a Christian and we were blessed to witness her baptism. However, she had lived a life of bondage for many years and it appears she was slipping back into that bondage. I'm sorry that you were affected by that, but I wanted to let you know that many of her unsaved family and friends will be attending the memorial service and I'm praying for their salvation through this tragic event.

I'm sorry if it's odd for me to be posting here, but I just wanted you to know that I've been praying for you.

In Christ,
Sharon

Chris said...

Lauren - I have been thinking of you a lot since the accident and I just pray that each day gets easier for you. I am so thankful that you and Ava and the twins are okay physically, and I do pray that the passenger comes out of her coma and is well. It's heartbreaking that someone lost their life for one bad quick decision. That really should make us all realize how precious each moment of life is. Also, I will never be able to hear "Jesus Take The Wheel" and not think of you again! Love you guys!

Lesli Archibald said...

Hey Lauren. I'm so glad you are all safe. Praise God! God was surely looking over you all that day. I pray for you through this time. I know it had to be hard for Jamie as well, watching all that happen. I can not even imagine the stress that he went through at that moment. You and your family are in my prayers.